Divine Surgery

This may be a little triggering for some so if you feel weird once you hit a certain part, just check it out slowly.

Father God in Jesus Name I pray that You help me to read and see what only You can show me. Lord God, I pray for the omnipotent power that You hold within your hands to show and reveal to me, me, so I can address me and the things about me that You desire to correct. Lead me down the right path and show me what is wrong and for those things I cannot control or perhaps even get rid of, please remove them for me. I acknowledge my absolute powerlessness to change me and Your great ability to change me. I choose that in Jesus Name. Amen.

The effects of guilt come with an extensive list. While many people confuse self-harm with just a few actions, there are many more. For some people self-harm is not found in cutting or anything done to the body outwardly, but some are found in abuse, rapidly changing sexual partners or ruining good relationships.

Perhaps someone may encounter guilt at an older age, most people experience it in their youth, but never connect the dots that are found in their adult life. You could see an "F" on a test and develop a mindset in your heart and life that makes you think you are going to fail everything and you actually expect and try to, because you developed that from ONE event. Guilt can result from one thing, even if it seems ultimately pointless or unrealistic to many.

At a young age if you don't have a solid person to be able to exemplify compassion towards you, you develop guilt because of some sort of bad thing (real or imagined). A person who holds on to the mindset is often more prone to destroy their career, marriage or even what you consider to be the "good things of life" because you feel unworthy of them.

While it's often found in childhood you can do things in adulthood that bring about some form of shame or toxic guilt. Guilt is not the root-cause of everything, as a Christian when sin entered the world that is essentially the root cause. While it's easy to talk about forgiveness of another persons sin most avoid the sins that were done to yourself that can land you in bondage and not to the desire to have forgiveness in your heart towards that particular person who hurt you.

You can have a very amazingly generous and loving heart but deep down not love yourself, question good choices, alter relationships (good or bad) and inflict injury to you knowingly or unknowingly. Even God said that guilt is found in a childhood in Isaiah 54:4. He referred to it as "the shame of thy youth." Toxic guilt plagues your entire life and without a knowledge of it you can't address the root of the cause. You can see certain actions, but if you don't find out "why" you will continue to relapse into them, even when it seems you have the "victory" over them.

How to find out why is important. Perhaps you should write how you feel about yourself in a journal. Be honest and if you are afraid someone will read it, throw it away afterwards. Have your own funeral for those feelings so to speak even if they don't go away immediately. Once you write down how you feel about yourself, write down what you perceive to be moments of failure and hurt. Be honest. Once you see what failures you THINK have taken place see which ones are even realistic. Sometimes we can think we have failed something or someone and they don't even hold it against us, but we do.

The mind is funny, it remembers what you did, but will forget things you want to know or need to know. Isn't it strange how you have an accusing voice in your head for all the "bad things" you have done but forget the good things and times? Again, real or falsified bad things. The key is renewing what you think and know. A crucial first step is to realize perhaps those thoughts are from a secondary source. No, you aren't crazy and it's true you can adapt to that frame of mind. Sometimes it's outer instead of inner. Satan is called by God the "accuser of the brethren." (Revelation 12:10) It's interesting how Revelation is the Revelation of Jesus Christ but God found it absolutely necessary to parallel the last days to a particular name or characteristic of the enemy, your enemy, the only one you really have. An accuser is a person who by definition "to charge with the fault, offense, or crime, to find fault with, blame."

Once you realize, "hold on, maybe ALL of these thoughts aren't just me" you can move towards an important focal point in your own healing and deliverance. Remember, not all this is going to go away overnight or because someone poured oil on your head and "prayed a prayer that got through to God" (as if you can't as a Christian already) which by the way is another form of shame and guilt. "I'm not worthy to approach God" is the biggest deceit developed by the enemy. You can talk yourself out of faith because you don't feel worthy. Feelings aren't the only thing that develop in life but it takes a habit of thinking about truth to move forward in life.

God found it important in the book of Romans commonly referred to as the Gospel of Grace to address the "lack of worthiness towards God." The truth is every problem wont be solved until God removes it when Jesus Christ returns. That's when there wont be any more sorrow or death. (Revelation 21:4) God showed us in Romans 5:1 which states "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." We are declared innocent (regardless if you sin today or tomorrow) because of Jesus' sacrifice on the Cross. You can't disprove it, but it can be manipulated even with scripture to make a legalistic bondage that makes a person feel like they need to be perfect. The desire itself to be perfect is prideful and linked to shame.

The faith that saves us is the faith that Jesus is talking about in Romans 5:1. It's not faith that "changes things in our life." It's simply the faith that you believe. You can doubt almost everything else but that faith that saves you is the death, burial and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ. Period. It is never changing no matter what you were taught or told by a person. While I don't want to throw too much information about this on a person, take this slowly. This isn't something to ponder for twelve minutes and never give thought to it again. Try the steps above first and remember your prayers aren't going to be answered because you are making every correct choice, but because Jesus made every correct choice. Enjoy and have a good day or night, whichever comes first to you personally.

Father God in Jesus Name I pray that You help me. Help me to be honest with myself and more importantly brutally honest with You, even if it means showing you my doubts, fears or inconsistencies. Holy Spirit, I pray that You lead me on the path to freedom and a path to self-forgiveness and the riddance of guilt in my life. Holy Spirit, prepare me for life through Jesus' life found recorded in scripture. Give me a desire for Your Word and more, whatever more is in Your eyes. Address the issues I cant see so I can reflect who You are to the world around me in Jesus Name I thank You. Amen.